Today’s societal norms and social media hugely play a factor in how women view their orgasms – how to pleasure a woman sexually. It’s true that sexual self-esteem, as well as good communication, play huge roles when it comes to women’s sexual satisfaction and pleasure.

For men who are dying to know what contributes to women being able to reach orgasm, we have dug deeper and come up with 10 helpful tips. As one professor explains, the keys for men to understand women and how women can have more frequent orgasms are found in their minds and their relationships with you.


Good sex comes down, really, to good communication. It’s all about how well your partner and you get on, the love shared, and how you let him or her know what your pleasures, needs, and desires are, and you can bet that there has been a lot of research on this tantalizing and hot subject.

One team of scientists surveyed American women aged 18-93 and came up with four sexual techniques, sexual pleasures, and moves that turned women on. These are:

  • Using language for sexual techniques is powerful for women.
  • Their partner is learning to please them too, and not just for themselves.
  • Clitoral stimulation is a top priority.
  • Experimenting with sex toys that go hand in hand with specific techniques.

What Are These Secrets To Achieving A Female Orgasm?

Know that there will be valleys and peaks. No matter how into each other you are, as far as sex goes, there are going to be both valleys and peaks[1]. It’s possible and easy to fall into a rut or to even avoid each other in these drought times.

The female orgasm is very complex, and a guy has to find out what best works for a gal. Clitoral stimulation is important, but so is the penetration that follows.

Take It Easy At First

Take It Easy At First

Some advice here is always to start gently and slowly when you are trying to please the women you are in love with, and you don’t want to mess things up. The clitoris is sensitive, exciting, and wonderful, but if it is over-stimulated vigorously, it can turn out to be painful. Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot says that.

“It’s much better to rub the clitoral hood, where the tops of the labia meet, or to rub along the side of the clitoris than to go straight for the head of it.”

The clitoris does best when it is being teased, sucked on here, and kissed and licked there, building up the tension as you go, and then teasingly, backing off a bit before going at it again.

Even the penis will get increased pleasure if it is allowed to enjoy some hand sex before going right for the clitoris immediately. Remember, you’re both here to have a good time.

FOUR Fabulous Ways To Heighten Your Woman’s Sexual Arousal

1. Pay Attention To Her Non-Verbal Signs During Sex

Several women tell their listeners that their man doesn’t respond to the signals they send out. So a guy has to learn to be a tuned-in lover[2]. Pella Weisman, a licensed marriage and family therapist says, “Learn to be a responsive, tuned-in lover, and you will gain serious appreciation from your partner.”

You should pay attention to their cues, such as their breathing, moaning, and increased lubrication, and then build on that. However, if you are not sure about her signals, then communication and talking count big time.

You could ask stuff like do you like that? for instance – because maybe he’s just not ready for a particular move or act. There is a popular university campaign quote that says, “Consent is sexy.”

2. Foreplay And After Play

Many men believe that sex is all about penetration, but a woman does need both foreplay and after play. For instance, if you are a guy who turns over and falls asleep, you might lose points big time because your woman might feel alone and abandoned.

A woman wants the foreplay and after play to continue long before the act of sex and intercourse begins. She wants to sext, flirt, and sexual innuendoes. These start warming her up, so she is on fire later. Remember, sex for a woman is both a physical and an emotional act.

3. Explore The Hot Spots

Explore The Hot Spots

A woman loves her man to explore her inside and out with his fingers, making it an exciting adventure for both of them. A guy needs to fondle and kiss some of the more often-forgotten erogenous zones like her inner thighs, ears, and lower back.

One famous hot spot is the G-spot. When you touch it the right way, watch her receiving breathless pleasures, making her orgasm more intensely because you are tapping into its powers.

4. Clitoral Stimulation

Some women love being fingered[3] with one finger or even three into her vagina it can take them over the edge! A guy can also try and give strong sucking with his tongue, teasing her with his tongue, flicking here and there, making it moist and inviting. He can also use his nose and forehead and apply pressure on the clit area.

She will soon let you know what she likes best. Some women find direct contact on their clitoris to be a bit too intense, while others love the rhythmic pressure on their clitoral shaft – the part that swells when she is aroused.

Some More Tips To Pleasure Your Woman

5. Let Her Come First, And Then Again

Women can climax multiple times. Stachy Rybchin, the CEO of My Secret Luxury, a sex toy boutique, says “Many people don’t realize that 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.”

Men can’t just count on penetration alone to make her come. Rather, “Clitoral stimulation, along with toys and accessories can help to get the right positions and angles, to make it good for both of you.”

You get certain positions that a woman will also prefer as being exciting for you and her. Women, particularly, love these positions[4].

6. Dirty Talk On Clean Linen

Women, not all women, love a guy to talk dirty to them[5]. A good session of dirty talk can indicate that you and your partner are very comfortable with each other, and that goes a long way in enhancing your sex life and bringing pleasure.

It is highly possible to get so turned on by dirty talk that you can orgasm from it without any genital stimulation or penetration – that’s how powerful it is.

Dr. Fran Walfish[6] is a relationship psychotherapist and she says that it “all depends on the person’s sexual history, experience, upbringing and the messages absorbed during late childhood and adolescence.”

Some people love dirty talk, and it’s because they have wide and vivid visual imaginations. Listening to sexy, dirty talk, they can visualize images that actualize experiences and add to the eroticism and titillation of their encounters.

7. Take Your Time Removing Articles Of Clothing.

Removing Articles Of Clothing

No need to strip down immediately once you get to the bedroom. Oh, yes, if you are hard-pressed for time, then some quickies are very exciting and fun[7]. But if you have the time, you could start by taking off your clothes slowly and tantalizingly.

Once you are both naked, kisses and licks will get the electricity ignited. The guy can gently suck on her nipples and expect it back, as nipple play can be enjoyable for both genders.

8. Sex Toys Get The Bells Ringing

Women love a vibrator, whether they use it for self-pleasure or brought into to make a couple’s love-making more edgy and helpful. Some women love them, and some don’t.

Find out from your partner what will go down successfully because experts reckon there are some interesting vibrator facts that women should know about.

One sexologist, Carol Queen, and curator of the Good Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum say that “Hysteria [back in the day] was treated by vulva or clitoral massage and later vibration, which would bring women “to the point of hysterical paroxysms of relief.”

Research shows that vibrators offer women clitoral stimulation that is necessary for them to climax. It kicks female arousal into gear way faster than most other means. Science Daily[8] found that 80% of women and 91% of men had used a vibrator at some point, which proved beneficial for their sexual health.

How To Make Sex Better For Her

9. Pay Attention Outside The Bedroom

A woman is turned on when she knows a guy is going all out for her, especially when he knows she likes something in particular and buys it for her because she was on his mind! So when a guy shows he cares, a woman can soon be putty in his hands.

Being a caring listener is key to opening the door to sexual pleasures because it shows her that she is important to you and that you want to know and explore what is on her mind.

10. Sexting Sparks The Fire

Remember, foreplay doesn’t start only once you get into the bedroom. It can already start at the beginning of a new day. Send little messages like “Can’t wait to get naked with you tonight.” It can get her pretty excited before knowing about what’s to come later.

Only if sending nudes is something that you both get turned on by, then you can already send some sexy photos of the two of you. You can then tell your babe what you plan to do to her naked body. Sexting can spark the flame early and build anticipation and excitement throughout the day!


There are tons of different types of sex available out there. It can go from vanilla to kinky[9]. What “good sex” means to one person can be something completely different to another.

Some people conjure up cuddles and romantic kisses with good sex, while others want to take things much further to get their kicks.

Foreplay is not the before-sex kind of play. It’s more like play because it is a large piece of the sexual puzzle. It is said that penetrative sex doesn’t need to be on the table for it to be sex.

Sex involves the genital and other body parts that bring pleasure. It is crucial for women to reach climax during lovemaking and to experience waves of pleasure.

If you, as a guy, have what it takes to bring your partner to more than one orgasm and achieve two or three, you are doing plenty of right things that show her expressions of love and intimacy.

It will give your ego a boost because your dedication may give enough time to foreplay, and more play has paid off. You have been able to help your woman to reach multiple orgasms by helping her to get aroused with oral and manual stimulation.

Her inviting body language and little moans and signs will give you the cue that you are on the right track. What pleasures for you to give her such pleasures!

Because “the nicer you treat her outside the bedroom, the naughtier it will get inside the bedroom.”